Star: Will Smith

Hitch (2005) – Will Smith, Eva Mendes and Kevin James

This movie is less of an action — more of an understated comedy — and I say understated because it’s not overly advertising itself as a comedy or trying hard to be funny, but it does have bags of humour and that’s its main selling point aside from the romantic angle.

By a third of the way in, it looks set for something in the region of a Bang Average rating which is quite an impressive unlikely score for a low-action comedy drama like this, since we’re reviewing action hero movies. Will Smith is the hero here, even if there’s no so much action going on — he’s literally the Date Doctor who pulls off relationship-starting miracles regularly. The strong score comes down to quality of cast and quality of story and quality of general production — it doesn’t look like a high budget movie per se but it does look like it was produced with passion.

Strong co-stars include Eva Mendez and Kevin James (star of Paul Blart: Mall Cop).

Around the 1 hour mark it makes a big push for pharmaceuticals — that’s probably what got this movie sponsored and the main reason it’s around today.

The second half is considerable weaker than the first, and entirely dependent on having followed the narrative of the first. As such, in the end, I rate it a Below Average movie for the action hero movie connoisseur.

I Am Legend (2007) – Will Smith and Alice Braga

With a load of medical propaganda coming from news reporters in the opening scenes, this movie couldn’t have got off to much of a worse start, so far as anyone with a brain and a heart is concerned. The action movie itself really begins around 3 minutes in.

By 15 minutes in it’s clear the movie is going hard down the pandemic route, even promoting the concept of military martial law with housebound lockdowns, military endorced quarantines with separation of family members, ritual hand sanitising upon entering rooms, and of course plenty of needles in arms — including experimental cures.

Before the end of the first half hour, it swings firmly into the horror genre. Fast forward for 5 minutes if you’re not into that kind of thing — and who in their right mind would be.

Before the end of the first hour, there’s another 5 minute horror episode to enjoy. Maybe this kind of shock & scare tactic is all part of the “don’t question the medicine” hypnosis.

Before the 90 minute mark we get yet another episode of horror, and this time it lasts pretty much till the end. As such, I’m going to rate this movie Barely Watchable overall, even though it has some high quality patches.

Aladdin (2019) – Will Smith, Mena Massoud, Naomi Scott and Marwan Kenzari

I’m not a fan of musicals but this movie is an exception. It gets off to an efficient start, with plenty of fun, music and action in the first quarter an hour, while also managing to squeeze in some vital character building. Already it’s comfortably Above Average.

The original animated Aladdin movie was probably the best animated movie Disney’s made, not least thanks to its catchy theme songs backed by a rich exotic narrative; and this movie is no different – its main strength is pretty similar, and as a bonus, it’s not a cartoon animation.

By half an hour in, the agenda becomes clearer — they’re promoting the concept of a rebellious woman who doesn’t want to be modest inline with traditional custom. We also get the odd line of good humour, as we meet Jafar’s talking parrot.

By the 1 hour mark, the music has been regular and diverse, and the scenes have been quite fun to the point this movie looks set for a Decent rating if it continues at this pace & quality.

After 90 minutes, the fun has died down a bit, and the movie has taken a turn for the worse. But fortunately, the dark patches don’t last long. By the end it’s even better than it previously seemed. I’m going to rate it Pretty Good, which is quite unusual for a Disney movie, but I think it deserves it, mainly on the merit of its atmosphere that mostly carries over from the original cartoon — there’s rarely a dull or unpleasant patch for long. The cast here aren’t bad either, although it’s hard to look at Will Smith the same since Orlando Brown’s allegations against him.

Generally, Will Smith is a bit of a clown here — sometimes his acting is strong but sometimes it’s a bit too weird. Mena Massoud is generally high calibre as Aladdin. He’s a real star of the show, alongside Will Smith. Naomi Scott is bang average herself as Princess Jasmine, and Marwan Kenzari makes an excellent Jafar — he’s possibly the best actor in the movie but has a bit of a dark role of course. That’s all the core cast members, aside from the monkey, the parrot and the flying carpet who are all pretty good too.

Hancock (2008) – Will Smith

This movie gets off to a weird start, as a drunk & depressed & violent homeless man has invincible superpowers and causes a load of damage going after some random gangsters because a kid said “look… bad guys”.

After 45 minutes — already half way through — it finally starts to get a little bit interesting. Up until this point, as an action hero movie, it’s been mostly Barely Watchable — but now it might be getting better fast as the Hancock goes from being hated to being needed.

Around 1 hour in, things get a lot more interesting fast, as Hancock finds someone else has superpowers just like him. It’s just a shame we’ve had to sit through a boring hour to get this far, and there’s only half an hour remaining by this point.

In the end, I rate it merely Watchable because the good stuff is in such short supply and the garbage slow miserable drama is so prevalent throughout. Certainly not one to rewatch until you’ve completely forgotten how the story goes, and how bad it is.

After Earth (2013) – Will Smith and Jaden Smith

Opening with child abuse dressed up as military discipline, this movie gets off to an unpleasant start.

By 20 minutes in it gets a bit interesting, and by half an hour in the background scenario has mostly unfolded and it’s quite interesting to see how it continues.

By 45 minutes in, they’re pushing injectable pharmaceuticals hard, like in most Will Smith movies it seems. This is shortly followed by cutting into one’s leg with a knife for self surgery — also involving funnelling one’s blood through a plastic tube. Nasty! There’s a bit of a boring patch after that too, as nightfall comes.

Around the 1 hour mark we get a cool action scene where Jaden Smith is flying in a wing suit and trying to evade a large bird of prey. At this point, with its mix of some good action mixed with a lot of depression and unpleasantry, this movie looks likely set for a Below Average rating. The ending was pretty strong, but that doesn’t really make it much more watchable as a whole, so in the end, Below Average it stays.