I have to say, this is a very weird movie. On the one hand it’s an eccentric satire of a kung fu come samurai flick, full of bastardised Laozi quotes, stinks of B movie vibes, and has the atmospherics of a kids’ cartoon; while on the other hand, it’s got stars like Russell Crowe, Dave Bautista and Lucy Liu, not to mention Cung Le, Rick Yune, Jamie Chung, Byron Mann, and RZA who also directed this movie and co-written it with the help of Eli Roth – a horror movie director who no doubt was somewhat responsible for the eccentric blood splattering that contributed to the weirdness of this movie.
For all these reasons, I can’t rate it any higher than Bang Average – I doubt anything in this weird genre can – but it’s also not any worse than average. Indeed, it’s probably as good as a movie can get in this weird slightly-eccentric slightly-satirical slightly B-movie type of oriental martial arts flick genre. It does a fair job of sustaining attention throughout, considering its shortcomings. I just want to know how the producers managed to convince the high level cast members – especially Russell Crowe – to get involved in such a B-movie level of production. In fairness, once they knew Crowe agreed, the rest were probably easy to convince, but how did they convince Crowe to stoop to these levels? He could have probably hired a better production team with his own money and not noticed anything missing from his fortune, so why waste his time on this tripe? I have no idea.
The quality of The Man With The Iron Fists 2 (2015) is a couple of levels down from that of the original. It has practically no special effects – just a bit of slow motion at times, and it has very little cast power too. It has a few mildly watchable parts but they’re too few & far between, and mostly too late in the movie – I had to skip through the vast majority of this movie while looking for anything watchable so I have to say the movie overall is generally unwatchable by my standards. For more than the first half of the movie, it’s pretty much solid boring drama. The last half hour or so is barely watchable, but on a better level than the prior hour.
This is the last of Pierce Brosnan‘s four James Bond movies, and the one which made the production team conclude that something needs to change. I don’t disagree that something needed to change, but they changed it in totally the wrong direction for my taste. I can’t stand Daniel Craig personally. Brosnan makes a great Bond compared to him. Still, the mass market of soppy drama fans seem to approve of Craig, even if they are a totally new audience and the loyal niche market of slick action hero movie fans who tolerated Brosnan in the hopes of someone better coming soon have become completely disenchanted by the whole Bond brand now.
Die Another Day gets off to a poor start, with an awful attempt at remixing two classic Bond tunes into one piece of deafening noise within the first 30 seconds of this movie. This sets the tone for the rest of the movie, since the musical direction is pretty wack throughout.
This leads straight into an extravagant surfing scene that’s hard to understand the context of until it’s all over. This makes a change from the popular ski chase scenes, such as the one that opened one of Roger Moore’s best movies, The Spy Who Loved Me. I’m not saying there’s anything terribly wrong with not knowing what’s going on until an action scene is over, but it’s a bit unusual for a Bond movie, and probably not the best idea for this genre. We can’t even see anyone’s faces while they’re surfing, so it could be anyone (although obviously Brosnan didn’t get his feet wet in the filming of that scene). I guess we’re just expected to admire the surfing for a minute while waiting patiently to find out who it is and why they’re doing it. There’s a much better surfing scene 90 minutes in, as Bond escapes an avalanche designed to kill him, and rides the tsunami wave that follows.
Fortunately, this soon turns into some interesting scenes, as James steals a suitcase full of diamonds and impersonates the previous owner, pretending to be an arms dealer in North Korea. James’s disguise is unsuccessful, so he attempts to escape, wrecking a bunch of hovercrafts and seemingly killing the general’s son, so he gets taken in for waterboarding & interrogation. General Moon is played adequately by Kenneth Tsang, his son (Colonel Moon) was played alright by Will Yun Lee, his son’s main assistant (Zao) who Bond goes after once released (since his freedom was traded for Zao’s) was played alright by Rick Yune.
Then we get the theme tune by Madonna, who also takes a on minor role in this movie (as a fencing instructor called Verity). It’s not the best James Bond theme tune by any means, but is certainly one of the catchiest. It’s basically just a cheap uncultured pop song that’s liable to stick in your head sometimes, especially if you’re a James Bond fan, and I dare say that makes it about equal to Madonna’s best work.
We meet a few good characters in the first half an hour, then we meet the main woman in this movie – Halle Berry. She immediately spends the night with James and their romantic scenes are quite classless, inkeeping with the poor humour throughout the Brosnan era of James Bond. The following and preceding scenes are not bad though. A lot of fuss was made on TV around the time of this movie coming out, about the appearance of Halle Berry as she comes out the water and meets James Bond for the first time. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not unattractive – she’s above average for a Bond girl, and not terribly far from the best of them – but the only reason she swings her hips so wildly is to compensate for the lack of natural width in her hips which would roll plenty within her natural unexaggerated stride if there were really anything to rave about.
Brosnan is also noticeably carrying a belly in this movie, while looking generally worse for wear due to his age and his untoned physique – I’m guessing this contributed to him being let go in favour of Daniel Craig who was younger and trained hard to achieve a good physique even though his personality is nothing like what Bond should be. Brosnan’s demeanour is a bit closer to the mark, in how it’s not the polar opposite of what we want, but it’s a bit dead & dry still – far from ideal for this role.
A third of the way in, as James enters Zao’s new lair, we see a rotating mirrored wall, probably inspired by Bruce Lee’s Enter The Dragon from 1973, much like the similar set in Roger Moore’s The Man With The Golden Gun in 1974 – since that one came out just one year after Enter The Dragon, the similarities are clearly far from coincidental.
The swordfighting scene was pretty good, after James joins the fencing club and meets Madonna’s character Verity agrees to a challenge from the main man in the club which starts off quite sporting with all the kit then comes lethal with real swords and no protection. It’s quite obvious sometimes where the stuntmen fill in for Pierce Brosnan though, as the faster scenes are very fast with his back to the camera then become terribly laboured when we see his face. This reflects his lack of real swordfighting ability of course, and probably also his lack of general martial arts acumen and even athletic capability.
Half way in, we get better acquainted with the second Bond girl in this movie – Miranda Frost played by Rosamund Pike (who also played the main baddie’s wife in Jack Reacher), who we briefly met earlier at the fencing club where Madonna’s character (Verity, the instructor) said Miranda was the most talented fencer in the club. Rosamund Pike has to be one of the least attractive Bond girls of all time, although due to her very prominent jawline I’m sure she appeals very much to certain types of people. To call her a tomboy would be an understatement. She also has a very bland demeanour and a face full of whitewashed makeup which creates a certain style that probably matches the role she’s playing quite well, however unappealing it may be. Having said that, she does make an interesting contrast with Halle Berry.
James’s car in this movie goes a level beyond any Bond car before, by being completely invisible. He can even sit inside it, and watch things happen around him, with people nearby being oblivious to his presence.
We know a James Bond villain loves a satellite weapon, and this movie’s villain is no different. The main villain, on the brains side, is Sir Gustav Graves, played alright by Toby Stephens, and he has a satellite that he uses to shine light on certain parts of the world, which can be used to assist agriculture in poor countries, but it can also be used as a deadly heat gun. According to the plot, Gustav Graves is actually Colonel Moon after a DNA changing operation.