The Rock (1996) – Sean Connery, Nicholas Cage and Ed Harris

From fearmongering about terrorism and chemical weapons, to glorification of military and patriotism, this movie dives balls deep into hardcore indoctrination from the outset and doesn’t let up for the first half hour. Speaking of balls deep and hardcore, it’s got a filthy smut scene early on too, without warning. Typical Hollywood.

But around the half hour mark it gets really interesting as we meet Sean Connery who plays the ultimate prison escape artist, reluctantly being released when America’s top politicians and military leaders figure he’s the only man who can help them.

The second half hour is a lot better than the first. The quality skyrockets every time Sean Connery is involved, and he’s very active after the first half hour mark. Nicholas Cage isn’t the worst actor in the world, but he doesn’t have anywhere near the class of Sean Connery, especially considering their adopted personas in this movie.

Two attractive lead females in Vanessa Marcil as Cage’s fiancĂ©e and Claire Forlani as Connery’s estranged daughter both help to lift the mood of the movie although their screen time is minimal.

By one hour in to this movie that lasts over two hours, the verdict is far from clear, but it looks set for something in the region of Bang Average which is a lot better than it was looking before Connery appeared. There’s already been some strong scenes, but the pace is generally a bit slow.

There’s a lot of blasphemy in this movie coming from pretty much every cast member — not a good look. But the pace becomes quite consistent in the second hour. Nevertheless, it still has slow patches that are highly skippable. And the ending is a bit of a messy irritation fest of clichĂ© drama and noise disguised as fast action. So all in all, we’re going to settle with the Bang Average rating that it looked destined for by the half way mark. So it’s far from amazing, but it’s still a respectable rating considering the many classics it’s matched or beaten.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010) – Nicholas Cage and Jay Baruchel

After watching a couple of Below Average movies before this one, the higher quality of production in this one is strikingly obvious from the outset. Within the first 10 minutes, it’s already clear that there’s no way this movie could be any less than Bang Average, and it has every potentiality to be multiple levels higher than that.

The first 15 minutes are occupied with telling the backstory, which is quite compelling. After this, the movie fasts forward to the ‘present day’ where Jay Baruchel plays this movie’s main co-star (alongside Nicholas Cage, who we’ve already met).

Aside from good cinematography, good acting and good action, there’s also several moments of very good humour in this movie.

The only real downsides are a slight lack of plot, a lack of additional strong or stronger actors, and an excessive amount of weirdness as you’d expect with any good vs evil magicians movie.

Considering all this, and the fact that there’s never a dull moment in this entire movie, in the end I decided to rate it Decent, on a part with movies like Jumper (2008) and Limitless (2011) which were released in similar years, have similar star power, similar amounts of action, and similar levels of plot density and weirdness.