Star: Anthony Anderson

Aliens Robots

Transformers (2007) – Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox

This movie is frequently quite childish, and is heavily banging the American military drums, but aside from that, it’s not a bad movie – it’s quite action packed from start to finish and has a decent basic story to it. The basic idea is, a bunch of sentient alien robots (Transformers) landed on Earth, and the good ones are battling the bad ones to save Earth and the human race from the destruction that the bad Transformers are planning.

Shia LaBeouf is officially star of the show; and Megan Fox plays his girlfriend who comes along for the ride most of the time, so is probably the second main character, officially. But in terms of charisma and screen presence there’s a few actors who stand out above both of them, including Josh Duhamel who plays the captain of the camouflaged military team operating in the Middle East; John Turturro who plays team leader in the secret Sector 7 agency, wearing a black beret; and funny guy Anthony Anderson who plays a useful hacker (who’s lost a lot of weight these days, but not at the time of this movie). Now if these three were the lead characters and it had less of a childish script, and it had a strong lead female added too, then it would probably be a significantly better movie, but as it stands I can’t rate it any better than Bang Average.

Peter Cullen‘s voice was also a notable feature in this movie, as the voice of Optimus Prime – leader of the benevolent side of Transformers.

Sequels

The first three Transformers movies are led by Shia LaBeouf.

The immediate sequel – the second movie in Hasbro’s Transformers movie series – is called Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009) and is pretty much the same quality as the original. It gets off to a better start but soon dwindles back down to the standard set by the original. It has a slightly new plot concept, but nothing significant. It has all the same cast members, and a very similar storyline, with another strong dose of pro-military persuasion. It’s equally childish, with a similar amount of decent action, although the action gets a bit more monotonous this time round I think. For this reason, and the fact it lacks the originality of the original, I would rate the second slightly weaker than the first, but by no significant margin – I’d rate them both Bang Average and suggest watching them sequentially for full context. One of the more interesting aspects of this movie is how Shia’s character goes into crazy genius mode from time to time, just like his grandfather did, drawing symbols on walls in the language of the Primes and debunking Einstein’s theories etc.

Third up, is Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), and while the first 90 minutes are drama-heavy, with occasional uncoordinated action, the final hour is a long final battle scene which brings the story together and rounds it off. Overall, this third movie lacks originality and creativity in plot and action, just like the second movie – probably worse. As such, I’m tempted to rate it Below Average, but it’s not significantly worse than a lot of movies rated Bang Average. Much of the cast is the same here, but the lead female has changed from Megan Fox (who’s nowhere to be seen here, she just disappeared from the storyline without explanation) to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and I’d describe this change as going from bad to worse, which is representative of the movie as a whole since it’s a bit worse than the previous two. One of the more interesting aspects of this movie, is how the Decepticons attempt to control certain humans including Shia’s character by turning into unremovable torturesome wrist-watches.

After this initial trilogy starring Shia LaBeouf, the next couple of Transformers movies are led by Mark Wahlberg which I think is an improvement, then after a couple of movies with him, the series goes rapidly downhill, with a movie led by Hailee Steinfeld in 2018 followed by a movie led by Anthony Ramos in 2023.

Exit Wounds (2001) – Steven Seagal

Barely 10 minutes in and it’s clear this is a high level of Steven Seagal movie compared to his usual standard. Instead of diving straight in as a mysteriously highly qualified operative working in a comparatively humble law enforcement role, this time we kick off with an action-packed yet concise backstory showing Seagal working for one police force and performing outstandingly but irritating someone and getting sent away to work for a different force, all within the first 10 minutes. Then we get a nice dose of humour to introduce his new role, and it’s clear this movie has mostly all departments covered and is well set to be comfortably one of his best movies if not the very best of them. Unfortunately, the energy dies off a bit, and it turns into a bit of a muddled action comedy mashup with some high level action scenes here & there still.

While it may be an upgrade from Under Siege in terms of giving the exact style Seagal prefers, and may be an upgrade in plot, cast and music from The Glimmer Man, there is a downside in how it’s a bit too “matter of fact” – less of a delicate atmosphere being built like we had with The Glimmer Man. The grace of execution is lacking somewhat – kind of like what happens when you ask a bunch of kids to produce a show, they all want to act cool but they entirely overlook the fine art aspect that high calibre mature actors tend to aspire for. For this reason, with its unique set of pros & cons putting it better in some ways than Seagal’s best movies, and worse in other ways, overall I rate Exit Wounds (2001) as a high OK, just a tad shy of Under Siege and The Glimmer Man, about equal to Under Siege 2 in terms of general entertainment value. I rate this movie as belonging in his top 5 of all time, just about.

Due to its light-hearted vibe and comedy value, it may be his best movie for people who are looking for a genre like this, a bit like Romeo Must Die (2000) starring Jet Li which also features some of the same supporting cast members as we see here (DMX and Anthony Anderson), or Cradle 2 The Grave which is another Jet Li movie featuring DMX and Anthony Anderson but also features Tom Arnold – all three of these supporting actors are also in Exit Wounds. But for people who’re looking for a slick action hero vibe, everyone seems to be a bit too jovial and Seagal appears to be having a bit too much fun – he smiles a lot in this movie – it’s like he’s not the boss this time round, he’s just being paid well and is enjoying the ride, making a break from producing his own flops like his last movie (The Patriot, 1998) which caused him to take a few years off before coming back with this one where he’s working better with others now.

As expected, Steven Seagal is by far the main character in this movie. DMX and Anthony Anderson play major supporting roles. Tom Arnold and Michael Jai White also play significant roles, but not so ever-present. Eva Mendes also plays a minor role in this movie. They all do a decent job, so far as lighthearted action movies go with a bit of humour.

Gangsters Kung Fu Prison

Romeo Must Die (2000) – Jet Li

This is one of Jet Li’s best movies in terms of having good supporting actors, great backing music and a seemingly decent production budget.

Although the plot is a bit thin, it’s ok – the action is frequent and the vibe is cool – intermittently exciting with good humour. A few slower scenes and the final fight scene drags on a bit, but otherwise it’s pretty fluid entertainment value.

Jet Li plays a Chinese kung fu expert called Han, who breaks out of jail upon hearing his brother is dead, to attend the funeral and find his killer.

It should be no surprise that the music is good, seeing how this movie has stars like DMX who plays a club owner called Silk, and Aaliyah who plays the lead female role called Trish. Both do a pretty good job in their respective roles here, and both of their music is played throughout, at very relevant times. Whoever selected the tunes and mixed them into the movie the way they did deserves some kind of award for it, especially the “Got Him” transition into the motorbike scene (can’t find the name of that tune anywhere) where Hilary Yip plays the Chinese woman who Jet Li’s character Han doesn’t want to hit.

Other decent performances include Russell Wong who plays the Chinese boss’s right hand man; Delroy Lindo who plays Isaak, Trish’s father, the head of the black people’s gang; Isaiah Washington who plays Mac, Isaak’s right hand man; and Anthony Anderson who nearly steals the show with his charismatic comedic touch as a low-level shot-caller working for Mac to help protect Trish.